How to Protect Yourself from a Cyberbully
Bullies are often easy to spot—at the gym, in the lunchroom, on the ball field. They usually travel with a posse, because many bullies like to show off for an audience. If you're confronted by this kind of bully, chances are you know who it is. And a bully you know can be easier to avoid.
There are other bullies who hide behind the anonymity of the Internet to threaten, harass or stalk their victims. These people are cyberbullies, and they're especially scary because they use e-mail, instant messaging (IM), chat rooms, online gaming sites, or social networking pages to hurt you or wreck your reputation. Cyberbullies can get really personal, and you might have no idea who they are because they could be posing as someone else.
What to do if you are contacted by a cyberbully
If you're being harassed or stalked by a cyberbully, these tips can help you handle the situation.
- Don't add fuel to the fire. If someone contacts you and says something mean, maybe in a chat room or by e-mail, don't respond. Cyberbullies don't deserve your attention—and if you refuse to participate they might decide to move on.
- Make sure it's really a cyberbully. If you don't reply and the person continues to harass you—or does other things like contacting your friends to talk about you, or writing bad things about you on a Web page or social networking site—chances are good that you're dealing with a cyberbully.
- Don't keep this to yourself. No one likes to think of themselves as a victim, but cyberbullies can be dangerous if they are not stopped. That's why it's really important to share this information—right away—with a parent, a teacher, or another adult you trust. Show them all the contacts you received. If this is related in any way to your school, report the problem to a teacher or the principal, because most schools have programs in place to deal with bullies.
- Say "Stop!" This is where you ignore rule #1, but just once. With the help of an adult, contact the cyberbully once and tell him or her to stop bothering you. Simple as that. No explanations, no questions, just say stop. After you do this, don't contact the cyberbully again. If you're being bullied through IM or chat, block the person.
- Save every contact from the cyberbully. It might be tempting to delete comments that are mean or threatening, but it's really important to save each contact from a cyberbully: e-mail, copies of IM, chat logs, Web pages... everything. This is evidence that you are being harassed. And be sure to keep the note you sent telling the cyberbully to stop contacting you.
- Check your rep online. If a cyberbully is writing nasty e-mails to you, don't assume that's all there is. Enter your name in a search engine and see what you find. If someone is writing about you online, you should try to find out what they are saying. And be sure to use at least a few different search engines, because each one can provide different types of information.
- Still being harassed? Take your case to the authorities. If ignoring the cyberbully doesn't stop the harassment, start complaining. If you've been contacted by e-mail, notify the cyberbully's ISP. If you're harassed in a chat room, tell the person who runs the server. IM and similar services all have harassment policies, and they provide information about what to do and who to contact if you're having problems with another user.
- If you receive a threat, contact the police. It's bad enough when someone says mean things about you, but if a cyberbully threatens you with harm, it's time to alert the police. This is where saving all of the cyberbully's messages will come in especially handy, because it provides the evidence you'll need to make a case.
Cyberbullying is nasty business, so the sooner you can get rid of the bully, the better. Just remember to never engage or encourage a cyberbully, and don't try to handle things by yourself. If you do become a target for a cyberbully, your parents may be your best allies to help you fight back. For tips on how to talk to your parents about cyberbullying, see What Parents Should Know About Cyberbullies.
