Stay Safe While Looking for Connection - and Love - Online
The Internet has made the address book passé. Today, instead of maintaining static lists of our friends' and colleagues' addresses, each of us has a growing number of interactive digital networks — both social and professional — that enable us to stay engaged with the people in our lives.
Creating Online Connections
Many people today, including older adults, have blogs or personal Web pages. Others join online forums or chat rooms. There are sites to help you keep track of your professional network, connect with former classmates, explore career options, or find volunteer opportunities. People who are passionate about hobbies or other special interests — from painting to Pilates to politics — often create blogs or Web sites dedicated to those topics and use them to connect with like-minded people. There are even genealogy Web sites where you can research your ancestors, and create a network of friends who share your interest in tracking family roots.
For people who are single — whether widowed, divorced, or never married — online dating is another popular way of connecting over the Internet. How popular? Among Internet users who are currently single and looking for romantic partners, 37 percent say they have visited an online dating site and 74 percent say they have used the Internet in some way to further their romantic interests, according to the Pew Internet Project. And online dating works. Seventeen percent of online daters have married or forged long-term relationships with people they met online.
The Pros and Cons of Online Dating
Online dating has advantages over more traditional ways of looking for a date or prospective mate, but it also has some potential drawbacks.
On the plus side, online dating puts you in touch with many more potential partners than you're likely to find at a singles bar or church social. And the nature of online dating — reading profiles and then communicating by e-mail and telephone before meeting in person — means you can learn a lot about a prospective date before physical attraction becomes part of the equation.
On the other hand, people on dating sites aren't always honest — they may be married or display photos that make them look years younger and pounds lighter. And communicating so much before meeting in person can have a downside. You may really like someone on e-mail and start imagining romantic evenings together, only to find out there is no chemistry when you finally meet. And there is the chance that someone who seems charming online could be dangerous in person.
Online Dating Safety Tips
Online dating can be rewarding, and may even lead to lifelong romance, but it's important to be cautious. Here are a few steps to help you increase your online dating safety:
- Do your homework. Before using an online dating site, research the site's reputation and target audience. Searching online for the name of the site and "reviews" will bring up reviews written by users, bloggers, and professional journalists. Other searches may lead you to ratings organizations that provide information about the number of people in your age range who use the site, the ratio of men to women, and the kind of safety precautions the site provides. And reading what a site has to say about its purpose and philosophy will also help you make an informed decision.
- Take it slowly. Take all the time you need to get to know a person through e-mail and telephone conversations before agreeing to meet in person. If anything seems out of sync, ask questions and keep talking until you feel comfortable.
- Protect your privacy. Never include your last name, address, phone number, workplace or other identifying information in your dating profile or when you're corresponding online. Most online dating sites use a double-blind system that shields your identity and protects your anonymity for as long as you choose to use it, but check with the service you're considering to be sure. For extra security, you may want to create a nickname to use on dating sites until you're sure you want to get personal.
- Meet in a public place. If you decide you're ready to meet an online date in person, choose a public place and tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting, and what time you plan to be home. Arrange a specific time to check in with your friend after the date ends, and give your friend the phone number of the person you're meeting.
- One final word of advice: Don't let these online dating safety tips make you uneasy or prevent you from looking for love on the Internet. A lot of great relationships have started online. Yours could be one of them.
For more information about staying safe while connecting and building networks online, see "How to Stay Safe While Building Your Online Network."
